So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
