I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
