I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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