My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize