i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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