So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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