He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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