No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
