God, you're like boner-b-gone
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
