Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
