why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
