Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
