About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
