ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
