Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
