one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
