i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
