508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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