I smell stomach acid.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
