sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
