Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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