i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
