This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
