I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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