Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
