Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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