My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
