Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
