It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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