i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
