I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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