Screwed.edu
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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