you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
