I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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