omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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