I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
