I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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