Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
