He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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