i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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