you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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