Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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