it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
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The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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