I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.