dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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