so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You can't special order awesome
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.