she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
