Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
