bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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