At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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