no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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