Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
this beer tastes like vomit already
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
