He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
