Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
