STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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