ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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