Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
