No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
