it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
