R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
