her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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