their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
