i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
