This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
