Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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